Bottom line for me is that you get to choose the name of your own child. Traditions are only valuable if they're valued and give value. And, they can change. You put more thought into the baby name than anyone else has for generations. You are definitely not the AH. It makes me wonder if they're some degree upset because maybe they'd have wanted a choice, too. Maybe not, but the fact that they decided to go along with it doesn't mean you have to. They needed to be told to butt out.
AITA for telling my family my daughter's name is none of their business and they should keep their unwanted opinions to themselves?
I (25F) had my first baby with my husband (25M). Our daughter is named Calla to honor my grandma. She loved Calla Lilies and always thought Calla would make a pretty name. My husband and I wholeheartedly agree with that and the name seemed perfect for our little girl.
The choice to name her Calla instead of Elizabeth, my grandma's actual name, was a controversial one among my family. You see, there are pretty much only 3 or 4 names for each sex circulating within my family. Everyone is named after everyone and always the exact same first name and usually last. It's a pain in the butt and not something my husband or I wanted to keep up.
My grandma even hated it. My grandpa was a very domineering man and he chose to name their kids names that already existed in his family. She had zero say and she hated it. I remember complaining to her one day that I hated sharing my name with four other family members I saw all the time. She told me every person deserves their own name and she never liked how our family had to all have the same names. This is when I also learned how hard my grandpa was on her and how he basically treated her like shit and made decisions for her when they were married, which was pretty much pressured by both their families.
She was the one who told me about honor names being more special if you don't use the actual name but something about the person or what they loved. So maybe a virtue name based on a virtue for the loved one or their favorite flower or plant, place they loved or their birth month/stone.
We lost her two years ago and it was awful. My husband adored her too and she adopted him as a grandkid when we were kids (he and I were best friends before we became boyfriend and girlfriend). For us both it made sense to honor her and doing it how we felt was better but also how she felt was better.
My family have really pushed the idea that we were wrong to name her something weird that is not Elizabeth and they say I should not say we honored grandma. I never asked for their opinions but they gave them and would not stop giving them and insulting the choice we made. So I snapped and told them my daughter's name is none of their business so they should keep their unwanted opinions to themselves. They told me there was no need to be rude and I should be willing to hear honest feedback from people who love us. They claimed naming is very much a family business in my family and I should also know and respect that.
NTA. You and your husband can choose the name you want. Other family members shouldn't have a say. Break the conservative tradition. In my opinion your choice is a sweet idea and your grandma I think would love it. Best wishes to you and your husband.
NTA, the only time family should have a say in the name is if the name is so outrageous that it may cause issues in the childs life, for example bullying or problems with official documents.
We do this in our family as well, named after grandparents to great great grandparents. Although my little brother is the odd one out and was named after my dad with his middle name being an ancestor
Calla seems like a pretty name. Me personally Calla Elizabeth “insert last name here” also sounds pretty and would have most likely shut the family up. Cause I’m petty like that.
@iriswinters9516
07.12.2023If celebrities can name their kids "Apple" and "Ender" then "Calla" is perfectly fine
LilyPLil
20.10.2023Bottom line for me is that you get to choose the name of your own child. Traditions are only valuable if they're valued and give value. And, they can change. You put more thought into the baby name than anyone else has for generations. You are definitely not the AH. It makes me wonder if they're some degree upset because maybe they'd have wanted a choice, too. Maybe not, but the fact that they decided to go along with it doesn't mean you have to. They needed to be told to butt out.
🥒Ur moms secret gf 🥒
15.10.2023Tell me when part two is out
Jordan
15.10.2023Second
Kirkieb
14.10.2023Well I'm a little late
Jordan
14.10.2023Second
SimpBoo
14.10.2023In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for telling my family my daughter's name is none of their business and they should keep their unwanted opinions to themselves?
I (25F) had my first baby with my husband (25M). Our daughter is named Calla to honor my grandma. She loved Calla Lilies and always thought Calla would make a pretty name. My husband and I wholeheartedly agree with that and the name seemed perfect for our little girl.
The choice to name her Calla instead of Elizabeth, my grandma's actual name, was a controversial one among my family. You see, there are pretty much only 3 or 4 names for each sex circulating within my family. Everyone is named after everyone and always the exact same first name and usually last. It's a pain in the butt and not something my husband or I wanted to keep up.
My grandma even hated it. My grandpa was a very domineering man and he chose to name their kids names that already existed in his family. She had zero say and she hated it. I remember complaining to her one day that I hated sharing my name with four other family members I saw all the time. She told me every person deserves their own name and she never liked how our family had to all have the same names. This is when I also learned how hard my grandpa was on her and how he basically treated her like shit and made decisions for her when they were married, which was pretty much pressured by both their families.
She was the one who told me about honor names being more special if you don't use the actual name but something about the person or what they loved. So maybe a virtue name based on a virtue for the loved one or their favorite flower or plant, place they loved or their birth month/stone.
We lost her two years ago and it was awful. My husband adored her too and she adopted him as a grandkid when we were kids (he and I were best friends before we became boyfriend and girlfriend). For us both it made sense to honor her and doing it how we felt was better but also how she felt was better.
My family have really pushed the idea that we were wrong to name her something weird that is not Elizabeth and they say I should not say we honored grandma. I never asked for their opinions but they gave them and would not stop giving them and insulting the choice we made. So I snapped and told them my daughter's name is none of their business so they should keep their unwanted opinions to themselves. They told me there was no need to be rude and I should be willing to hear honest feedback from people who love us. They claimed naming is very much a family business in my family and I should also know and respect that.
AITA?
C
14.10.2023NTA. You and your husband can choose the name you want. Other family members shouldn't have a say. Break the conservative tradition. In my opinion your choice is a sweet idea and your grandma I think would love it. Best wishes to you and your husband.
(Sorry for mistakes… not my first language)
Positively Unpositive
14.10.2023NTA, the only time family should have a say in the name is if the name is so outrageous that it may cause issues in the childs life, for example bullying or problems with official documents.
Lynx_Loves_Marvel
14.10.2023The name can’t be worse then Elon musk’s kid’s name.
prabhav agarwal
14.10.2023Welllllll calla or kala mean black in hindi fyi😊😊😊
Anania Tikoilomadra
14.10.2023Not their kid not their business 🤷🏾♂️
KOKUJIN
14.10.2023They went with calla instead of lilly? Bruh
KOKUJIN
14.10.2023We do this in our family as well, named after grandparents to great great grandparents. Although my little brother is the odd one out and was named after my dad with his middle name being an ancestor
Blueberry Pancakes
13.10.2023YTA for giving your kid a "unique " name. I have a "unique " name and it really effects your life in a negative way.
Gold Dragonette
13.10.2023It's used to be very common to do that, it's horrible and most people hated it
Anubi
13.10.2023No just no
llVenusll
13.10.2023I honestly think they could have picked a nice spin off of Calla, like Callie, or even just gone with Lilly.
CountessRose
13.10.2023Calla seems like a pretty name. Me personally Calla Elizabeth “insert last name here” also sounds pretty and would have most likely shut the family up. Cause I’m petty like that.
youmna_ majbour
13.10.2023Unless you're naming your child "Megatron Magdalene the twoost" then it's none of their business…. NTA
echo
13.10.2023It's calla it's a normal name my ex wanted to name her kids gassy and greasy I am not joking i swear to fuckin God
Lindsay Rodrigues
13.10.2023“Calla Lily” with Lily being a nickname for Elizabeth. Idk about y’all but it seems like a great way make some lemonade out those lemons.
kalci bone
13.10.2023Should change her own( OP's) name to something, to piss off the family more<3